She Who Holds Our Freedom
The story I wrote before I understood what it was
A story about Zoe, the Alchemist — the character and painting that quietly became the seed of the book Rewilding Yourself and the Field Guide years before either existed.
For years I've been circling this world in scraps of writing — half-formed images, a line here, a feeling there. At some point, a painting arrived: a woman in a woolen cap, stepping into a forest she'd never entered before. I called her Zoe, the Alchemist. I didn't know yet that she was carrying a whole book inside her.
Here is her story — that sparked the book, and the field guide that followed it.
She Who Holds Our Freedom
She placed the last few items in her worn leather bag, put on her embroidered woolen hat and stepped out into the crisp early morning air. It was still dark but the full moon lit her path well as she headed down the mountain towards the old forest to the south of the village. Tonight, the Council of Women will meet, and for the first time, she is to be a part of it.
Pausing to breathe in the beauty of the night sky, she was reminded that all is truly right in the world. It’s who we are being in this plane of existence that causes the challenges and creates our experiences. Ah yes, that.
Zoe danced between fear and excitement as her feet gently guided her over the land she’s traversed a thousand times. She knew in her bones that she would be joining the Council at some point and had imagined this day a million times.
Her sense of knowing had been with her for as long as she could remember. Even as a small child she was able to sense into the subtleties of life. While everyone could see the fish in the streams and the trees in the landscape, she could sense more than just the physical presence. She could feel how the creatures and plants felt and what they had to communicate. Their company sustained her in a way nothing else could. She understood the cycles of life and the seasons. Living in the mountains provided rich opportunities to explore this plane of existence. She soaked in all the beauty, grace and truth that the natural world had to offer.
She felt at one with all of it; the energizing sunshine, the grounding earth, the expanded trees, the refreshing wind and nourishing water. She felt pregnant. Not with child but with life, feeling the fullness of being on a journey with something about to birth. This is beauty. The is connection. This is love in action.
The morning was spent traveling down the mountain. Like a moving meditation of beauty, she moved with grace and ease as she greeted the rising sun and the creatures that were beginning their day. And a beautiful day it was!
At the edge of the village the Robins welcomed her as she approached. Often associated with the Phoenix, the bird of transformation, Robins always indicated good fortune and can walk the line between heaven and earth. One Robin in particular continued on with her as she made her way into the heart of the village. A guardian of sort, this one actually looked more like a Phoenix than a Robin. Interesting, she noted.
Having been in the village many times before she stopped to visit with her friends. They gathered in the warm sunshine as a gentle breeze welcomed them to the Tea & Chocolate shop, where the best, dark chocolate in all the world was made, in her humble opinion. They laughed and caught up on each other’s lives - the challenges, hopes and dreams. Ahh, delightful. Her heart was full.
When the time came to move on she said her goodbyes and headed out of town. She knew to take the southeast path from the village to reach the great forest, although she had never ventured into the world she would be heading into this day. She felt into her sacred space between safety and fear as her feet guided her out town towards the southeast path.
The forest welcomed her as she entered. As she stepped into the unknown, she listened, sensed and felt her way forward. Where does the energy want to go. What is calling me forth.
The path itself was narrow and winding but easy to navigate as it meandered into the deep forest. She noticed that the butterflies, which were abundant on the edge of town, were not so plentiful in the forest. She paused by a stream to soak in the beauty of the multiple tiny waterfalls before her and became entranced by the dragonflies scanning over the water for mosquitoes to eat and the salmon swimming back and forth prior to heading up stream, reminding her of the great wisdom that is available when one can utilize both flow and form.
As she sat, she began to notice a new type of lifeform. One she had only heard about but never seen. Tiny little flying creatures that flew like flocks of birds, one mind, yet the groupings were much smaller, perhaps 3-5 in each. Love Bugs. They are said to bring tiny acts of love, of connection, to help us remember that our thoughts, words, beliefs and actions matter, and all add up to create life and our perception of reality. Love in action. Beautiful.
Zoe arrived with plenty of time to explore the old growth trees that surround the gathering space. She had heard of this place but mostly in folklore and legend. The majestic beauty and wisdom of this environment was palpable. The deep forest air, with its rich, wet, fertile soil scent, was in sharp contrast to her high, dry alpine air and she shivered, reaching for her woolen wrap. The air was still, perhaps in anticipation of what was to come. The central fire burned hot, warming and drying everything in its vicinity but soon the fire would calm down, the coals would settle and the Council would commence.
She noticed women from all lands – the mountains, islands, plains, forests and many she couldn’t identify. They wore colors and items from their lands, bringing honor to their own lineage. Zoe felt proud to have her favorite woolen cap and wrap, woven in light and made of the wool from the alpacas that lived on her land with an embroidered edge translated from the subtle beings that interacted with her.
As daylight faded into the evening, the fire had settled to a glowing dance of reds and golds and yellows, with the fresh wood adding bursts of flames with a soothing crackling background. All of life seemed to be settling in.
The women began to gather around the fire and Zoe was fully present. She could feel the energy of the women, the forest, the fire, the creatures, the unseen beings and it all felt so perfectly right.
As they passed the bowl made of a white gourd and painted with elaborate designs of all colors but primarily red, they shared what it is they each brought to the council. They turn to her: “What is your piece of the Great Puzzle, your piece of the Red Thread?”
I am She who dreams life into form, who lives in the creative flow. My medicine is connection and flow. To live from my core sovereign self, deeply rooted and nourished by all of life, supported and influenced by inspiration and wise discernment as I am Becoming my Multidimensional Self. An energetic being living in physical form, I offer ways to navigate human existence as an expanded, aware being.
As is the way, there was a moment of silence as each woman took this in, witnessed Zoe and her newfound ownership of Self Becoming.
When all the women had share, they began the inquiry around the topic at hand. How can we best support humanity in this great evolution revolution, the great awakening?
Zoe listened intently to all that was shared, taking in how beautifully they expressed their understanding, their intention and what was calling them forward as a next step. She could see how it all wove together into a unified whole, each piece, each thread, as important as the next.
Zoe spoke up: Many are confused, lost to themselves and all of life. My piece is to help them awaken to their soul essence so they can contribute their gifts in a way that contributes to and honors the whole. Teaching both vertical and horizontal alignment so that as they stand in their Core Self, and relate with others Core to Core, both are lifted to a heightened sense of awareness and new possibilities. In that way, change happens as it needs to – from the inside out.
As the circle came to a close, the white gourd with the special markings was handed to her. It was her time to add her wisdom, her markings to the gourd to solidify her piece of the Great Puzzle. She had her red paint and brush and so added her mark as the women held the space, witnessing her initiation. They closed with a time of singing, then settled in to sleep by the warmth of the fire.
The next morning she awoke to the sound of light rain hitting the leaves of the trees. A bit more wood was put on the fire as the women gathered in circle in appreciation of what was shared, what was envisioned and what each had to contribute. Zoe’s attention went to the forest mushrooms all around the outer circle as she mused, like the mycelium all around us, we are part of the cycle of life in a worldwide network where all is connected. And so it is.
They said their goodbyes, heading off in different directions.
Zoe was now part of the Council of Women. She could feel the connection with all of these women from different lands, all holding and moving towards an awakened world, where people knew who they were and lived as an expression of their highest purpose.
She paused at the water’s edge by the little waterfalls, once again, to rest and soak in all that had happened. She watched the dragonflies glide effortlessly over the water, the salmon beginning to jump the waterfalls in an effort to make it upstream and the Love Bugs, oh the Love Bugs, there to remind us to connect through tiny acts of love. Perhaps tiny in act, but huge in impact she thought.
And so it was that Zoe headed home with a deeper sense of connection, purpose and love knowing she was in the company of a beautiful world of amazing beings, all collaborating to assist humanity in waking up to who they truly are.
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I found this file recently while going through old writing, and it startled me — how much of Rewilding Yourself is already sitting inside it. The Council. The threshold between the village and the unknown forest. The idea that your piece of the puzzle is something only you can add.
The painting came with her — I call her She Who Holds Our Freedom. The book and field guide came later still. I'm not sure the story knew it was writing a book. I think it just knew it was writing me.
P.S. Rewilding Yourself, the book Zoe helped seed, is available for presale now. It lauches Oct 7th and is widely available. The painting is also available.
If you’d like to follow along week to week, I send out a post every Sunday on Substack. Join me there.
Warmly,
Suzanne
